![]() Decide to let go of what you want, and spend some time fully experiencing what that’s like for you. The force to move comes from fully experiencing what ‘is’. What we don’t do is feel what it would be like not to take the chance at all. When deciding whether or not to take a risk, we spend our time between what it would be like to get what we want, and what it would be like to be rejected – but it’s all speculation. Then you can decide what to do with them. Tease them into the sunlight so you can have a good look at them. Fears are often faceless – they feel bad but lack substance and are often related to feelings and thoughts that are leftover from long ago. You spend so much time on the consequences of not getting what you want. Is it more important that you stay safe or more important that you have a go? How will your life be different if you get what you want? What will happen if you get rejected? Who will care? How important is that to you? What would it be like to give up right now and make the decision to stay safe? What will you miss out on? Understand the full consequences of your decisions, and remember that not making a decision is still making a decision. Own your vulnerability, for the beautiful, messy, very human quality it is, and know that it’s one of the best things about you. Let yourself be vulnerable – it will be one of the best things about you.The more you can acknowledge it and recognise it for what it is, the less control it will have over you. Some of us many times before the week is out. It’s a really human emotion and we’ve all experienced it before. It’s controlling and it’s heavy handed, but it’s nothing you can’t deal with. Shame can be awful – I know how awful it can be – but it’s never fatal. The problem is that shame can start showing up for every party – but you don’t have to let it in. Shame exists to stop us doing stupid, anti-social (but sometimes really funny!) things, but too much of it will flatten you. ![]() That thing that feels like death is actually shame.įear of rejection comes down to a fear of shame.If it’s not, know that you’re a step closer to what you’re looking for, and what’s looking for you. Keep going until you find it and know that whatever risks you take and whatever rejections you go through, none of it will matter when you find what you’re looking for – which you will. Take the chance, because this might be it. The right things will always find you, but sometimes you have to fight for them. Rejection gets you closer to what you want.All the reasons not to take the chance just don’t matter, because the only one that matters is this: That risk you’re about to take might be the thing that takes you somewhere extraordinary. Catch yourself fixing on the potential for rejection, and gently shift yourself towards what you have to gain. When it comes to the things that light you up, it’s never a numbers game. Whatever you focus on is what will become important. This pulls our focus more towards what we have to lose, than what we have to gain. Humans are wired for survival, which means we tend to be risk averse. ![]() You’ll always be able to think of more reasons not to take a chance than reasons to go for it, and there’s a reason for that. What you focus on is what will become important. ![]() You’ll officially be braver, more resilient, smarter and more ready for next time – and there will always a next time. Know that like any fear, every time you confront it, the easier it will be push through it next time. Whether or not you get what you want, there will be other things you’ll get from trying. There’s more to gain that what you’re going for. Here’s how to stop it holding you back, so you can clear the path to the things that are too important to let slip away without fighting for them first: So are the things we miss out on because of it. However hard we hit the ground, we always manage to get back up, dust off and keep moving forward. Sometimes it’s excruciating- but we always find out way out of the fire. So let’s not pretend that rejection doesn’t sting. Other times those risks that come with a hefty chance of rejection, take you and your life somewhere extraordinary. We’ve chased, caught, kissed, asked, shared and bared our wanting soul for something that was too important to walk away from without trying.Īnyone who has lived life at all will know that sometimes those risks don’t pay off. But we miss out on so much by doing that.Īll of us at some point have done something bold and brave and daring – because the risk was worth it. We humans can do anything – anything – but the fear of rejection is so powerful that it can make us step back from life in case we get hurt.
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